The following op-ed by William Meyer, a clinical social worker, appeared in the Thursday, March 4 edition of Durham Herald.

Meyer joined Faith In America as a supporter after hearing founder Mitchell Gold talking about his book CRISIS on a PBS radio show in December. He recently met with Mitchell to discuss our work and a presentation he has developed as a clinical social worker that addresses the topic of “prejudice masquerading as science”.

Meyer has served on the faculty of North Carolina’s Duke University in the Department of Psychiatry for nearly 30 years. Last spring, he made a presentation at the Duke Grand Rounds weekly lecture series, entitled, “On the diagnosis and ‘treatment’ of homosexuality: When prejudice masquerades as science.” In the presentation, he detailed much of the history (up to the present) of the relationship between mental health professions and homosexuality to demonstrate how professional organizations have hurt people and have been used to promulgate social bigotry.

Last August, he received an invitation to present on this topic before the U.S. Army’s Department of Psychiatry.

Since then, he has presented for Grand Rounds in Departments of Psychiatry at Zucker Hillside Hospital in N.Y.; Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, N.C.; Cooper University Hospital in New Jersey; the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill; and the Departments of Psychiatry at the University of Alabama in Birmingham and Virginia Commonwealth University; before a group of 300 mental health professionals in Pinehurst, N.C.; the North Carolina Chapter of the American Psychological Association in Charlotte, N.C.; and the N.C.Society for Clinical Social Workers.

Conversion therapy: When the ‘cure’ becomes a curse

Prejudice and violence. We recognize it at its extremes.

We recoiled when we recently learned that the Ugandan parliament had proposed a bill that could put people to death for being homosexual. Many are unaware that the death penalty for homosexual acts already exists in seven other countries. Several years ago we were reminded of this fact by an AP photo of two slender young men, not much more than boys, really, as ropes were being placed over their heads in Iran. Fortunately, there were blindfolds over their faces, so we didn’t have to look them in the eyes.

Today, homosexuality remains a crime in 93 countries. In 2003, United States courts declared that private consensual behavior between adults was not a crime. In England, anti-sodomy laws were repealed in 1967.

Prior to this, one Brit who was found guilty in 1952 was code-breaker Allan Turing, a man some consider to be the father of computer science. Turing, like Oscar Wilde many years prior, was convicted of gross indecency.

Unlike Wilde, Turing was given a choice about his punishment and he chose chemical castration over imprisonment. Turing became so despondent about the outcome of these treatments that he took his life at the tender age of 42. Several months ago, Prime Minister Gordon Brown publicly apologized.

“It is no exaggeration to say that, without [Turing's] outstanding contribution, the history of the Second World War could have been very different,” he said. “…I am pleased to have the chance to say how deeply sorry I and we all are for what happened to him. Alan and the many thousands of other gay men who were convicted, as he was convicted, under homophobic laws, were treated terribly.”

While homosexuality is no longer a crime, it was for many years considered a mental illness.

In the late 1960s and early ’70s, the scientific community joined forces with gay-rights activists to compel the American Psychiatric Association to examine how their nomenclature was hurting people.

When the APA classified homosexuality as mental illness, they were allowing their professional organization to sanction what was little more than social prejudice.

In 1973, homosexuality as a category of mental illness was officially deleted from the Diagnostic and Statistics Manual, the American bible of psychiatry.

This year, I have been giving lectures to departments of psychiatry about how mental health providers have historically treated homosexuals who came for help. Most in attendance have been shocked and then saddened when they learn that in America and Great Britain, up through the early 1970s, psychiatrists and psychologists sometimes used electric shocks and nausea-inducing substances in an ill-fated effort to convert gay men and women into becoming straight.

In addition, many patients spent years and enormous sums of money in psychoanalysis and intensive psychotherapy with the hope that such sacrifices would “cure” them of same-sex attraction. Well-known practitioners of these treatments proclaimed cures by the hundreds and even thousands. Virtually every such report — including a now wholly discredited book by the venerated William Masters and Virginia Johnson — was found to be unsubstantiated, non-replicable and fraudulent.

Today in America, we have advanced to the next rung of civilization. Now that gays and lesbians are no longer criminals and no longer officially sick, large segments of our society still regard them as sinners in need of healing and redemption. A number of organizations encourage people with same-sex orientation to seek treatment through what has variously been called “conversion therapy” or “reparative therapy.”

Every major professional health and mental health organization denounces such therapies and clearly states that therapeutic attempts to change an individual’s sexual orientation are not only ineffective, but carry significant potential for harm. Yet, this has not stopped many religious leaders and their parishioners from foisting such treatments on vulnerable individuals who feel guilt-ridden or confused about their feelings.

While they are often sincere in their attempt to help, I doubt they would continue such efforts if they really knew the costs.

Imagine the emotional and psychological effect on teenagers who are told that if they act on their feelings then they have committed “an abomination” — therefore they must deny who they are, condemn themselves for what they feel and live with the shame of what they cannot change. Is it any wonder that suicide and suicide attempts remain at such high levels for gay youths?

It matters not, if punishment or condemnation is inflicted by the state, the doctors or representatives of the church. The consequences of such actions rest on all who inflict such harm and all should be called upon to atone for its damaging effects and the lives that are taken — even among those who believe they are delivering a message of holiness.

William S. Meyer, MSW, is an associate clinical professor in the Departments of Psychiatry and Ob/Gyn at the Duke University Medical Center.

william.meyer@duke.edu

Human sexual orientation has deep biological roots.

By Dean Hamer and Michael Rosbash

There was an elephant in the San Francisco courtroom where lawyers contested the constitutionality of Proposition 8, the California law that prohibits the marriage of same-sex couples. One key issue should influence every aspect of the Perry vs. Schwarzenegger proceedings yet remained unspoken: What makes people gay? Is it a choice or is it innate?

Most geneticists consider sexual orientation a phenotype — namely, an observable set of properties that varies among individuals. Although physical phenotypes like height and weight are easier to quantify, behavioral phenotypes are intensely studied in animals and humans. Research from many directions leads to a strong conclusion: Human sexual orientation has deep biological roots.

Moreover, the empirical evidence for the role of genetics in human sexual orientation has been quietly but steadily mounting over the last 15 years. Studies of twins — the mainstay of quantitative human genetics — have been conducted on large populations in three countries. The results unambiguously demonstrate that heritability plays a major role in sexual orientation and far outweighs shared environmental factors such as education or parenting.

During the early 1990s, there was an unfortunate flurry of less-than-convincing findings on specific genes and sometimes over-hyped media announcements. Indeed, critics of sexual orientation inheritance are fond of pointing out that there is no single identified “gay gene.” However, they fail to mention that the same is true for height, skin color, handedness, frequency of heart disease and many other traits that have a large inherited component but no dominant gene. In other words, sexual orientation is complex, i.e., many genes contribute to the phenotype.

Gay genes appear paradoxical at first blush. From the perspective of natural selection, how could they persist in the population if they lead to fewer offspring? Recent research has uncovered several plausible explanations. For example, one set of studies found that the same inherited factors that favor male homosexuality actually increase the fecundity of female maternal relatives. By balancing the number of offspring, they would contribute to maintaining these genes over the course of evolution. This explanation may not be exclusive but serves to illustrate that the Darwinian problem is not necessarily overwhelming.

There have been other surprises. One is the importance of epigenetics — changes that alter gene expression without a change in the DNA code of an affected gene. This is evidenced by the lopsided number of maternal versus paternal factors in male sexual orientation and by unusual patterns of DNA modification in mothers of gay men. Epigenetic changes may also explain the finding that a male’s probability of being gay is increased by his number of older brothers.

Although these factors are neither genetic in the traditional Mendelian sense nor fully understood, they are still biological and affect phenotype in an involuntary manner. Who chooses his number of older brothers?

All of these findings demand the conclusion that most gay people no more choose their sexual orientation than most heterosexuals. (”Most” is used here to indicate that — like almost everything biological — these are statistical data and do not apply uniformly.) This conclusion is also consonant with our memories: Most of us were stunned as unsuspecting adolescents to discover our sexual orientation — heterosexuals and homosexuals alike.

Biology cannot be avoided in determining whether fundamental rights are protected under the equal protection clause of our Constitution. This is because “immutability” is one of the factors that determine the level of scrutiny applied to possible violations and that determine whether gays are awarded “suspect class” status, which would give them more constitutional protection. Heritability is not necessary for immutability or suspect class status (religion is the usual counter-example), but it should be sufficient; we do not choose our genes, nor can we change them.

The court of public opinion may be the ultimate arbiter, and here there is cause for optimism about what education can achieve. Recent studies in college classrooms show that exposure of students to information on the causes of homosexuality has a direct influence on opinions about gay rights. This fits with polling data showing that people who believe that gays are “born that way” are generally supportive of full equality, whereas those who believe it is “a choice” are opposed.

The importance of education is also underscored by the extent to which a lack of education is problematic. One national survey found that 70% of those who think being gay is a choice favored the re- institution of sodomy laws. This would turn some 15 million Americans into common criminals for simply being who they are. Science education must help people understand that phenotypic variation, including sexual orientation diversity, is an immutable feature of human biology.

Dean Hamer is a molecular biologist who works on human genetics and HIV prevention and is the author of scientific books, including “The Science of Desire.” Michael Rosbash is an investigator at the Howard Hughes Medical Institute and a professor at Brandeis University who studies circadian rhythms.

CNN anchor and special correspondent Soledad O’Brien will interview Mitchell Gold, editor of the book “Crisis,” on Jan. 28 as part of Lenoir-Rhyne University’s Visiting Writers Series. The interview will take place at 7 p.m. in the P.E. Monroe Auditorium on the Lenoir-Rhyne campus in Hickory, N.C.

This event is free and open to the public. Students, educators and church members are especially invited to attend. Advance tickets are not required.

Soledad O’Brien has worked on CNN special reports including “Black in America” and “Latino in America” and is currently working on a “Gay in America” special report for the network.

“Crisis” describes the personal, social and religious pain of growing up gay in America. It is told through essays contributed by 40 successful and well-known professionals as well as not-well-known younger people. The foreword is written by tennis great Martina Navratilova.

Gold is co-founder of Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams, a nationally recognized furniture manufacturer headquartered in Taylorsville, N.C. He is also the creator of Faith in America, an organization dedicated to educating people about the harm of religion-based prejudice against the gay community.

“I’m looking forward to interviewing Mitchell about a topic that is at the very heart of America’s culture war,” O’Brien said. “Mitchell does it in a manner that shows compassion for all sides.”

Gold published the book, co-edited with Mindy Drucker, in response to what he calls a silent mental health crisis among the more than 1.6 million gay young people in America. “They are at significant risk for suicide, addiction, depression, and violence, and yet those who should be helping them may very well be contributing, if not causing, their heartache and confusion,” he said. “There are teenagers all over the world today in crisis mode because they fear what will happen if others discover their sexual orientation.”

Like the other contributors to the book, Gold has lived through this experience. As a gay teen, he was suicidal. Eventually, with the help of a psychiatrist and support from his friends, he learned to accept himself.

Gold now calls upon others, especially those in the religious community, to take the lead in creating an accepting atmosphere for young people experiencing this same crisis.

Some of the book’s contributors include the Right Rev. Gene Robinson, the first openly gay man ordained by the Episcopal Church; acclaimed actor Richard Chamberlain; U.S. Rep. Barney Frank (D-Massachusetts), chair of the House Financial Services Committee; and Hilary Rosen, a political analyst on MSNBC and political director for The Huffington Post.

The book also includes essays by two mothers of gay young people who died as a result of their sexual orientation. Another contributor to the book is former Reverend Jimmy Creech of Raleigh, N.C., who set out on a journey to study the Bible and science after one of his congregants came out to him more than 20 years ago.  He was defrocked by the United Methodist Church for performing a same-gender marriage ceremony.

Proceeds from the sale of “Crisis” are donated to non-profit organizations that help young people struggling with issues related to their sexual orientation.

The Visiting Writers Series is free to the public thanks to the support of sponsors. This year’s sponsors include Catawba Valley Community Foundation, UNC-TV, Hickory Public Library, United Arts Council of Catawba County, Barnes & Noble Booksellers, Crowne Plaza hotel of Hickory, and WFAE 90.7 FM, Your NPR News Source.

For more information about the Visiting Writers Series at Lenoir-Rhyne University, go to http://visitingwriters.lr.edu or call 828-328-7077.

Established in 1891, Lenoir-Rhyne University is a private, coeducational university located in Hickory, N.C. It is affiliated with the N.C. Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America and is open to students from all religious backgrounds. Undergraduate degrees include bachelor of arts, bachelor of science and bachelor of music education in more than 60 majors and concentrations. Graduate degrees are offered in business administration, counseling, occupational therapy and athletic training. The Web site is www.lr.edu.

News article from Arkansas Democrat-Gazette

BOY’S SILENT STATEMENT MAKES BIG IMPACT AROUND THE WORLD

By Kate Ward

FAYETTEVILLE — When he chose to stand up for his beliefs by sitting down for the Pledge of Allegiance, 10-year-old Will Phillips never dreamed his message would circle the globe.

The West Fork student was honored by furniture designer and author Mitchell Gold on Saturday during a book signing at the Fayetteville Public Library.

Gold serves as chairman and founder of Faith in America — a group dedicated to educating the public about “the harm caused by religious-based bigotry and prejudice used to justify condemnation, discrimination and violence toward gay Americans.”

“Will, you’re on the road toward completing a noble mission,” Gold said. “Because of you, other people’s lives will be better.”

It was Oct. 5, when the West Fork Middle School student refused to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance.

The silent statement made a big impact around the world, gaining him international attention.

“I thought about not standing for the pledge because there really isn’t liberty and justice for all,” Phillips said.

“I’m glad my message is getting out to so many people, but it wasn’t my original intent. Originally, my intention was to not swear about something that doesn’t exist.”

Phillips parents said their son’s actions were based on his own upbringing.

“He had asked about the meaning of the pledge and why we say it,” Phillips mom, Laura, said “We shared our views. I told him that I don’t say the pledge and my husband does. We gave him the choice to do what he wanted because we’ve always raised him to stand up for what he believes in. We told him there would be social ramifications, but it’s something he feels really strongly about.”

After thinking about the meaning of the pledge, Phillips’ mom said her son decided he didn’t want to stand or say it in class.

“He’s received e-mail, phone calls and letters from people in India, South American, Canada, Germany — you name it,” she said. “He never expected any of this attention. He was adamant that the didn’t want to do it for self-promotion. I guess, it just goes to show that little voices can make a big impact.”

Phillips was one of three volunteers Saturday who read excerpts from Gold’s newly released book, “Crisis: 40 Stories Revealing the Personal, Social and Religious Pain and Trauma of Growing Up Gay in America.”

To show his appreciation for Phillip’s courage, Gold presented the fi fth-grader with a handmade leather chair.

“One of the boxes we’re stuck in right now is that people who grew up believing one way aren’t always comfortable changing their way of thinking,” Gold said.

“Will, as you sit down to stand up for your belie fs, we want to give you this chair so you can be comfortable.”

Sarah Kliff
The Gaggle/Newsweek.com

The Mormon church is supporting gay rights.

Sound a little suspicious?

That has been the read around the blogosphere as of late, after the Church of Latter-day Saints announced Wednesday that it would support a Salt Lake City ordinance barring housing and workplace discrimination based on sexual orientation.

Cue cynicism: “The Mormon Church views gays as worthwhile human beings in the workplace, but not in their own bedrooms. Got it,” quipped a blogger at gay blog Queerty. Over at Seattle’s alt weekly: “No one is fooled: this ‘rare’ action is an attempt to blunt charges of anti-gay bigotry … in the wake of Prop 8.”

We know the Mormon church does not agree with gay marriage—it adamantly opposes homosexuality. But writing off their support, which probably played some role in this legislation passing, is childish, willfully ignorant of how this law came to be and what it means. Like the fact that leaders of gay-rights groups in Utah have, for the past two months, met secretly with LDS officials regarding the proposition. Or that this will actually make a difference in the lives of gay Salt Lake City residents.

The Mormon church could have easily sided with the Sutherland Institute, a local conservative think tank that opposed the measure on the grounds that “each new inclusion in the law of such vague terms as ’sexual orientation’ and ‘gender identity’ represents a mounting threat to the meaning of marriage.”

As Andrew Sullivan more thoughtfully writes over at The Atlantic, “Someone has decided to offer an open hand. A civil rights movement should never spurn such a good faith effort.”

Gay Americans want the right to full and equal marriage, and rightfully so. There’s a good chance that, in the relatively near future, a younger generation of voters will make that the norm. But, in the here and now (and especially in conservative states like Utah), the right to marry is not even on the table: 31 states have voted down gay marriage by popular vote. What is available are smaller, albeit imperfect, offerings that the gay community can—and should—embrace, while still demanding more.
Just take a look at how the two gay-rights votes, both in liberal states, fared this past election: the marriage initiative in Maine failed, the everything-but-marriage referendum in Washington state passed. Granted, the Washington state referendum was not ideal: namely, it did not include marriage rights. But it did include inheritance rights, pension benefits, and a whole host of other benefits. These things matter, as does employment discrimination. And, in at least the short term, they are applauding rather than deriding.

By 365gay Newswire
11.10.2009

The Jakarta Post reported today that moderate Muslim scholars see no reason to reject homosexuals under Islam.

Scholars said that condemnation of homosexuality by Muslims is based on narrow-minded interpretations of Islamic teaching.

Siti Musdah Mulia of the Indonesia Conference of Religions and Peace said:

“There is no difference between lesbians and non lesbians. In the eyes of God, people are valued based on their piety…And talking about piety is God’s prerogative to judge. The essence of the religion is to humanize humans, respect and dignify them.”

Another speaker at the discussion, Nurofiah of the Nahdlatul Ulama (NU), said that heterosexuality is a social construction that has ultimately led the majority to ban homosexuality.

Several conservative Muslims also spoke at the discussion, but they condemned homosexuals.

Deputy chairman of the Indonesian Ulema Council (MUI), Amir Syarifuddin said: “It’s a sin. We will not consider homosexuals an enemy, but we will make them aware that what they are doing is wrong.”

A representative of Hizbut Thahir Indonesia (HTI) asked the attending homosexual participants to repent and force themselves to return to the right path.

However, according to Jakarta, Siti Musdah Mulia, said homosexuality is from God and should be considered natural.

Wednesday September 30, 2009

WASHINGTON (RNS) As thousands of gays and lesbians prepare to march on the nation’s capital to push for equal rights, leaders from a range of faiths say it’s time to stop using religion as a weapon to oppose same-sex marriage.

What’s more, advocates for gay rights say their faith and a sacred belief in justice are what actually form the foundation of their support for gay and lesbian unions.

Brent Childers, an evangelical Christian, said he once used religious tenets to support prejudice toward the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community, but “I realized those attitudes were not in keeping with my religious values by causing harm using religious teaching.”

He said supporting same-sex marriage is in keeping with his faith because “what’s essential is those core principals of love, compassion and respect for others.”

Now, as executive director of Faith in America, Childers leads a group whose mission statement embraces the goal of “emancipat(ing) lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people from bigotry as disguised by religious truth.”

Childers is among the more than 100 religious leaders who have endorsed the Oct. 11 National Equality March on behalf of gay rights.

Several faith groups are planning religious events in the Washington area Oct. 9-11, including an interfaith service before the march.

The two-mile march on the afternoon of Oct. 11 will culminate in a rally outside the U.S. Capitol.

Speakers will include Judy Shepard, whose son Matthew was killed in a hate crime in 1998; lawmakers from New York City and Los Angeles; and veteran gay activists Clive Jones and David Mixner. Regional groups around the country are organizing trips to Washington, a well as events in their own cities on Oct. 11.

The march is preceded by two days of events that include workshops on lobbying tactics and media training. On Oct. 10, there will be a wreath-laying at the Tomb of the Unknowns at Arlington National Cemetery to honor gay service members discharged under the military’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy.

“We believe all people are created in God’s image. Doing anything less than fighting for equality for all is not living into our calling,” said Kareem Murphy, one of the members of Washington’s predominantly gay Metropolitan Community Church, which is helping organize members of various Christian denominations to attend the march and related events.

“Christ ministered to people who are considered outsiders, and we want to continue that ministry,” he said.

Robin McGehee, co-director of the march, said it took years to reconcile her Baptist faith with her lesbian sexual orientation. “I finally understood I could have both uniquely and effectively and not have to choose one over the other,” she said.

Another march supporter, Faith in America founder and furniture magnate Mitchell Gold, said, “There’s been a real mobilization of faith groups saying faith is equal to justice.”

Several Jewish leaders also have endorsed the march, including Rabbi Eric Yoffie, president of the Union for Reform Judaism, and Rabbi Denise Eger, president of the Pacific Association for Reform Rabbis. Eger said Jewish history, from slavery in ancient Egypt to the horror of the Holocaust, has colored Jewish activism on behalf of gay rights since the 1960s.

“We’ve had the ultimate experience of dehumanization,” she said.

“What’s happening now, that’s alarm bells. What’s next?”

The Rev. Irene Monroe, a doctoral candidate at Harvard Divinity School, likened the same-sex marriage debate to the 1960s struggle for African-American civil rights. She said there were religious teachings that supported slavery as well as a ban on interracial marriage that are now considered shameful.

“A lot of the bigotry that we as LGBT people face is based on religion,” she said.

Molly Kropp, 35, who attended a recent fundraiser for the march, said her support for same-sex marriage got down to a question of morality. “It should just be about common respect,” she said, “and spreading awareness of the idea of equality.”

By MICHELLE MINKOFF
Copyright 2009 Religion News Service. All rights reserved. No part of this transmission may be distributed or reproduced without written permission.

Mitchell Gold, founder of Faith In America and CEO of Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams, was honored in New York on Wednesday for his work in educating the public about the harm caused by religion-based bigotry and prejudice toward gay Americans.

Gold was presented the Stonewall Community Foundation’s distinguished Visionary Award at the 40th Anniversary gala dinner at the United Nations Delegates’ Dining Room on Wednesday The event celebrated the great strides made by the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community of New York and recognize Stonewall’s vital role in nurturing and strengthening the LGBT movement over the past 20 years.

Gold was recognized for his many years of advocacy work and for his efforts to better the well-being of LGBT individuals. Gold in 2005 founded Faith in America, an organization working to end the advance of religion-based bigotry toward lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals. Last fall, he edited and published the book, “CRISIS: 40 Stories Revealing the Personal, Social and Religious Pain and Trauma of Growing Up Gay In America.”

The dinner also honored Dustin Lance Black, the 2008 Academy Award® and Writers Guild of America Award winning screenwriter of Milk, the Gus Van Sant-directed biopic of the late gay rights activist Harvey Milk that also earned an Academy Award® for Best Actor for Sean Penn in the title role.

The Stonewall Dinner featured a performance by Melinda Doolittle, breakout American Idol finalist and recording artist.

The Stonewall Visionary Award honors individuals for their outstanding work on behalf of the LGBT community and who live and promote the principles of Stonewall in their personal and professional lives. The foundation honors those who are champions of equal rights, have made a significant investment in the LGBT community and contribute to improving the LGBT community’s place in society.

Stonewall Community Foundation, a not-for-profit 501(C)(3) organization, is the public charity for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) in New York. Since its founding in 1990, Stonewall has awarded more than $14 million in grants to more than 450 LGBT organizations, many of which are new or emerging groups that do not have the resources to reach potential donors. Its mission is to promote the well-being of LGBT individuals and strengthen the LGBT community.

June 10, 2009
Immediate release
Contact: Brent Childers, 828.612.4682

Faith In America would like to remind Miss California Tami Farrell that in her refusal to voice her support for marriage equality for gay Americans she is allowing religion-based bigotry and prejudice to advance against them.

In a Larry King Live segment on June 10, Farrell was asked if she thought gay and lesbian couples should have the right to marry. She said she thought it was a civil rights issue and that individual states should decide the issue.

King in a follow-up question suggested California was in the process of deciding and that Ms. Farrell was a voter and then asked her how she would vote.

Ms. Farrell again refused to answer.

“We would hope that Ms. Farrell would take time to consider that by remaining silent, she is siding against the many gay and lesbian individuals who reside in California and all across the country,” said Faith In America Executive Director Brent Childers.

“You’re either for gay and lesbian citizens being treated equally or you are not.

“Religion-based bigotry and prejudice is the single greatest impediment to equality  for gay citizens – including the issue of marriage – and it brings immense harm to gay Americans, especially gay youth.

“You can’t be for full equality and against marriage equality.”

“We would also like to remind Ms. Farrell that our country has had a disastrous history of allowing individual states to decide the civil rights for others. It wasn’t that long ago that an African-American couple could marry in Illinois but not in 17 other states. Deciding on someone’s worth and dignity is not a state-rights issue.

“If you cannot say you stand for the equality and dignity of gay and lesbian Americans, you are taking a stand against them.”

Mitchell Gold, a home furnishings business owner and longtime civil rights advocate, founded Faith In America in 2005 to educate Americans about the harm caused when religion is misused to justify prejudice, discrimination and violence against people based solely on their sexual orientation. In September 2008, Gold published “Crisis: 40 Stories Revealing the Personal, Social and Religious Pain and Trauma of Growing Up Gay In America” to help bring awareness and understanding to one of the greatest moral failures of our time:  Misusing religion in a way that subjects gay teens to traumatic depression, fear, rejection, persecution and even physical violence.

Note: The following book review was published in the June 2, 2009 issue of Christian Century.

Church-based hate

by David P. Gushee

“‘FAG’ ran across my chest in letters eight inches high,” recalled Jared Horsford, a student at Texas Tech and one of 40 gays and lesbians who tell their stories in this book. “I stared in the mirror, bitter irony rolling through my mind about how illegible it was, bloody and backwards, in the bathroom mirror. I wouldn’t make the same mistake a few months later when I carved ‘i hate you’—backwards this time—across the same skin.”

In high school, Jared was a basketball star, student government president, church youth group leader and valedictorian. But Jared was also attracted to males rather than females. “So I fought. I got counseling; I fasted; I prayed; I dated a girl from church; I worked at a Christian summer camp.” But nothing worked. He spiraled between attending ex-gay meetings and engaging in anonymous gay sex. When his desires persisted, he would start “feeling defeated because I wasn’t getting ‘healed,’ and go home and cut myself.”

Matt Comer, who came from a conservative Baptist family in North Carolina, began experiencing same-sex attraction in his preteen years. Matt’s preacher said from the pulpit things like: “Put all the queers on a ship, cut a hole in the side and send it out to sea.” The contrast between his sexuality and the beliefs of his church and family drove Matt to thoughts of suicide. But that same religious faith told him that suicide “would have sent me straight to the depths of hell, landing me in the same spot as being gay. So, I turned to begging and pleading.”

Lying on his bed at night, “crying and praying,” Matt would ask God to spare him eternal damnation if he tried his very best not to feel attraction to males. But it didn’t work. Finally Matt told the truth to his parents. “My mother said I was crazy and sick and told me I was going to hell.” Eventually, however, his mother changed her views. “Today,” Matt writes, “she is my strength and my most avid supporter, and I know that she loves me no matter what.”

The coeditor of this collection, Mitchell Gold, grew up Jewish in Trenton, New Jersey, in the 1960s. He spent his teenage years in a cloud of depression, loneliness, fear and confusion. He tried to pass as straight but was unable to sustain the fiction. “I made a pact with myself: If I could not change and want to be with a woman by the time I was 21, I would commit suicide.”

Like a number of others who tell their stories in this book, Gold moved beyond suicidal thoughts into serious planning. Finally he received psychiatric care that helped him toward self-acceptance. “The number one reason I work toward equal rights for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people is because I do not want kids to go through what I did.”

What exactly do such young people go through? Gold and coeditor Mindy Drucker offer not just stories but summaries of some key data. They include the following:

• Suicide is the third-leading cause of death among 15-to-24-year-olds; for every young person who takes his or her own life, 20 more try.

• Gay teens are four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers.

• Forty-five percent of gay men and 20 percent of lesbians surveyed had been victims of verbal and physical assaults in secondary school specifically because of their sexual orientation.

• Gay youth are at higher risk of being kicked out of their homes and turning to life on the streets for survival. They are more likely than their heterosexual peers to start using tobacco, alcohol and illegal drugs at an earlier age.

• Twenty-eight percent of gay students drop out of school—more than three times the national average.

All the stories in this volume focus on the particular problems faced by teenagers from religious families and congregations. Some of the stories are contemporary; others tell of long-ago hurts.

Jarrod Parker woke up one morning at Boy Scout camp (having apparently been drugged the night before) with the word “faggot” written across his forehead, “a picture of a penis at the corner of my mouth,” and further obscenities and drawings scrawled over his chest and back. Jorge Valencia, who works at a teen crisis and suicide prevention hotline, recalls getting calls from youths whose parents had told them, “I would rather have a dead son than a gay son.” Rodney Powell, a black homosexual who marched during the civil rights movement, says: “I suffered more fear and numbing anxiety from my ’secret’ as a teenager than I did from racism and segregation.”

Two of the stories are told by the parents of young adult children who died. Mary Lou Wallner lost her 29-year-old daughter Anna to suicide. Wallner was estranged from her daughter because of her inability to come to terms with her daughter’s sexuality. She writes that the last communication she had from her daughter was a letter telling her that “I was her mother only in a biological way, that I had done colossal damage to her soul with my shaming words, and that she did not want to, and did not have to, forgive me.” Wallner decided to “respect Anna’s wishes and give her the space she was asking for.” The next communication she received was the news that Anna was dead.

“What do I wish I’d done? What would I do now? Grab my toothpaste, credit card and car keys, jump in the car, drive to where she lives and tell her I love her no matter what. I did not do that, and now I never can.” Wallner and her husband now run an organization whose goal is to reunite parents with their gay children.

Elke Kennedy was awakened at 4:30 one morning in May 2007 with a call from a South Carolina hospital, where her 20-year-old son Sean had been brought. “When I finally got to see my son, my knees buckled. He was lying flat on his back, stitches on his upper lip, blood on his hair and neck, hooked up to a respirator. As I stood there holding his hand, he felt so cold. I wanted to hug him, to keep him warm. I kissed him, telling him I was there and that I loved him so much and to please wake up. I remember praying. A doctor came in and explained that the tests had revealed Sean had severe brain damage and his injuries were not survivable.”

What had happened to Sean? “As he was leaving a bar, a man named Stephen Moller got out of the car and called Sean a faggot. Then he punched Sean so hard he broke Sean’s facial bones and separated his brain from his brain stem. Sean fell backward onto the pavement, and his brain ricocheted in his head.”

Sean died. Moller was convicted only of involuntary manslaughter and was jailed in November 2007. Although his request for early parole was denied in February of this year, he will finish his modest sentence in July.

Gold and his organization “Faith in America” believe that religious hostility is at the basis of violence against gays. If the problem is religion, then religion must change.

Religious groups have a First Amendment right to teach their convictions about homosexuality. By law, if they want to teach that homosexuality is wrong, that is their business. Gay advocates usually recognize this right while asking that traditional religious communities not bring such convictions into the public arena.

Gold takes a more confrontational tack. He believes that the heart of the issue is precisely what religious groups teach within their own walls and what religious families teach within their own homes. He pleads for an end to the “misuse of religion to harm gay people.”

As an evangelical Christian whose career has been spent in the South, I must say I find it scandalous that the most physically and psychologically dangerous place to be (or even appear to be) gay or lesbian in America is in the most religiously conservative families, congregations and regions of this country. Most often these are Christian contexts. Many of the most disturbing stories in this volume come from the Bible Belt. This marks an appalling Christian moral failure.

In contrast to the love and mercy that Jesus exemplified, Christian communities offer young lesbians and gays hate and rejection. Sometimes that rejection is declared directly from the pulpit. But even when church leaders attempt to be more careful, to “hate the sin but love the sinner” (as that hackneyed formulation has it), the love gets lost. Perhaps we need to focus on refining our ability to love; maybe we are not actually capable of compartmentalizing hate.

Christ’s command that we love our neighbors, especially the most despised and rejected, means that we must respond immediately to the crisis outlined in this book. Such love requires not only that we be vigilant about the impact of individual and congregational words and actions, but also that we consider seriously the broader ramifications of Christian activism that seeks to oppose all social advances for gay and lesbian people. Many Christians act as if opposing gays and lesbians is fundamental to the church’s mission, which leads many gay and lesbian people to perceive Christianity as their mortal enemy. Is this how we want to be perceived?

Reading about the murder of Sean Kennedy in Greenville, South Carolina, helped cement a conclusion for me: there is very likely a gap between what traditionalist church leaders may intend to say when they discuss biblical references to homosexuality or the issue of gay marriage and what those listening to them actually hear. Such discussions may inflame the less discerning in the pews and lead them toward hateful and contemptuous attitudes and behavior. We must be extraordinarily careful about how we express ourselves, especially in a polarized cultural climate.

We who are Christians must love our homosexual neighbors. We must treat them as we would want to be treated. We must remember that as we do to them, we do to Jesus (Matt. 25:31ff.). We must oppose their harassment and bullying in schools, churches and clubs—everywhere. We must rebuke any Christian who speaks or acts hatefully toward gays and lesbians. We must teach Christian parents of gay children to communicate unconditional love and under no circumstances evict them from either their hearts or their homes, no matter what they believe about the moral significance of homosexual inclinations. We must seek opportunities in the church to build relationships with those who so often have encountered Christian hatred.

Crisis recounts the sad stories of dozens of young people who, like the biblical Esau, cried for a blessing from their parents, friends and churches. All too often they have not received it. All too often they have been left broken, rejected as human beings—at the hands of Christians and in the name of the Bible. Obviously we must extend basic acceptance to gay youths such as these, as well as Christian love.

Moreover, after reading these stories, I feel that Christians have something they need to request from God and from gays and lesbians, and that is forgiveness.

David P. Gushee is professor of Christian ethics at Mercer University.

Copyright © June 2009 by the Christian Century. Reprinted by permission from the June 2, 20909 issue of the Christian Century. Subscriptions: $49/yr. from P. O. Box 700, Mt. Morris, IL 61054. (800) 208-4097.

About the author: Dr. David Gushee is a distinguished university professor of Christian Ethics at Mercer University. He is the author of approximately 80 articles, chapters and reviews as well as the author of 11 books. Ordained as a Baptist minister, Gushee writes for a number of religious publications.